This is my best friend. She's fat.

Last week I gave my freshman English classes a writing assignment. They were to write a short biography of a classmate, and then read it to the class. The boys were funny. They would make jokes about their friends, or say that they spent a lot of time playing computer games. Nothing really out of the ordinary. But then I noticed them saying things like, “My friend is a very cute boy.” Wait…what? And it wasn’t just one or two that said it. About half of the boys said that their guy friends are cute! They didn’t mean that they were attracted to them, nor was there anything “lost in translation.” They were simply stating that their friend was good-looking. And it wasn’t a weird thing to say. No one laughed or seemed surprised. Except me. No one heard me though. J

I thought nothing could top that, but then the girls started speaking. They said nice things about their friends, “she’s pretty, she’s kind, etc.” They talked about their friends’ likes and dislikes, “she likes to read, she doesn’t like sports, etc.” Then I heard,”She’s fat because she likes to eat a lot.” Wait…what? I looked over and expected to see the (very skinny in my opinion) friend burst into tears and run from the room. But she didn’t! She simply giggled and nodded her head as the rest of the class joined in laughing with her! The next girl got up to speak and told the class that her friend doesn’t exercise, so she’s fat. And on it went! “This is my best friend. She likes to watch movies. She’s a little fat.”

I’ve learned that there’s no such thing as a personal question here. It’s perfectly acceptable to ask people how old they are, how much money they make, how much they spent on something, and more. People don’t think twice about telling someone that they’re fat, or that they’re not very good-looking. A lady once told me that my curly hair was messy, and that she could tell I was a foreigner because I was fat. Not because I had fair skin, big eyes, and spoke terrible Chinese, but because I was fat. J I don’t know if this candidness is a good thing or not. Maybe some things are just better left unsaid.